(Reflection) Are you really Mitchell’s big brother?
Mitchell’s caretaker, was vastly entertaining—without even trying. One moment stood out as both ridiculous and oddly endearing. I was having a pretty serious conversation with Mitchell about, well, life and choices—okay, as serious as you can get with a grown guy shuffling around with a pacifier in his mouth. Out of the blue, Mitchell starts scrunching his face and shifting awkwardly. A second later, the smell hit me. “Mitchell,” I groaned, waving a hand in front of my face, “are you serious right now?” His caretaker popped his head in the room, laughing as I pointed out that my bedroom was not meant to double as a diaper-changing station. But instead of handling the obvious situation, he says, “Nah, he can wait a bit.” Wait. A bit. Mitchell just gave me this sheepish glance, chewing his pacifier like life couldn’t get more awkward.
I’m fourteen, and last week, I had a supervised playdate with Mitchell. Yes, a playdate. With a toddler. It started when I was sitting on the floor showing Mitchell my social studies homework because, honestly, I didn’t know what else to do with him. I even told him about my friend drama—how Trevor basically ignored my message for three days, but then posted a group picture the other guys at the mall. Mitchell sucked on his pacifier the whole time, glancing at me like I was part of a television show he didn’t quite understand. Then his caretaker handed him a bottle, and I kept talking as if he was truly invested in my life. That’s when he paused, his face froze, and he made the infamous fart face. A second later, I realized what had just happened—Mitchell had added another load to his Pampers. He didn’t even do it on purpose. It was like his body just gave up on holding it together, and I couldn’t tell if I wanted to laugh or gag—or maybe both.
Later that day, Mitchell spent some time in my brother's room, alone, playing with his toddler toys. He was engrossed in his little world of toy cars and train tracks, completely content. I had an idea to see if Mitchell might want to watch a movie with me and my friends instead. With that in mind, I made my way to the toddler room, trying to grab his attention. "Hey Mitchell, wanna come hang out with us?" I asked cheerfully. But instead of waving or saying hi, Mitchell just paused, looked me square in the eye, then pushed his diaper up slightly—and, well, you can guess what came next. Another load, unmistakable and unapologetic. It didn’t take long to understand what he was trying to tell me; movie time wasn’t on his agenda. All Mitchell wanted to do was play with his big chunky blocks and indulge in a big bowl of Gerber.
The lesson I learned that day was simple but profound: sometimes, priorities are as straightforward as satisfying the moment's needs. For Mitchell, there was no pretense or social obligation—just pure honesty with himself about what he wanted. It reminded me that life doesn’t always need overthinking; sometimes, simplicity and being true to oneself are all that really matter.
Bedtime with Mitchell was always an adventure in its own way. That night, his caretaker made sure he had everything he needed—a fresh pamper, four bottles lined up like tiny soldiers, and his cozy toddler bed waiting. Fifteen minutes after we tucked him in, we heard a loud fart and exchanged glances, already knowing what that meant. Sure enough, his caretaker came by and confirmed he had pooped his pamper again, a nightly ritual we had all grown accustomed to. We made no fuss about it, respecting the routine as just another part of Mitchell's life.
The next morning, the sun crept in, and we gathered for breakfast. Mitchell joined us in his little shirt and the same pamper he had “loaded” the night before, flashing a mischievous smirk. He shook his pamper up and down a bit as if to make a statement, and with all the confidence in the world, announced that once we finished breakfast, he was heading straight for a bottle and a nap. There was no room for negotiation—he made it clear he couldn’t “kick it” with us that morning. And just like that, the day started with Mitchell calling the shots, as usual.
Are You Really Mitchell's Big Brother?
Reflection Instructions
This reflection is designed for preteen guys. Think about how Mitchell's confidence and ability to set boundaries influenced the morning's events. Reflect honestly on how you might handle situations where you need to communicate your own needs or preferences. Use the story as a starting point to answer the following questions in at least two paragraphs:
How do you usually express your needs when you're with a group or your family?
Have there been times when you were confident, like Mitchell, and how did that make you feel?
What are some situations where you could work on being more clear or confident about your desires and limits?
Be honest in your responses, and try to give specific examples or situations from your own life.
Reflection Questions
How would you describe Mitchell’s confidence in the story? Do you think confidence is important, and why?
How do you feel about the way Mitchell “calls the shots”? Do you think that shows independence or something else?
What do you think it means to have a routine, like Mitchell deciding on breakfast, a bottle, and a nap?
Compare Mitchell’s morning choices to how you usually start your day. What’s similar or different?
Why do you think Mitchell’s smirk and attitude made such an impression on others?
Do you think Mitchell’s actions reflect responsibility or just doing what he wants? Why?
How does Mitchell’s carefree morning compare to the responsibilities you have daily—school, chores, or activities?
Do you think toddlers like Mitchell are aware of the decisions they make? How about you?
What are some actions or habits you’ve seen in toddlers that might seem strangely relatable, even as a preteen?
If you could design your perfect morning, free of responsibilities like Mitchell’s, what would it look like?
What would you say are the key differences between how Mitchell “leads” his morning versus how most preteens have to follow schedules set by others?
How does Mitchell’s “confidence” compare to how you’d feel if you made bold statements like his?
What lessons, if any, can older kids or adults learn from Mitchell’s attitude toward life?
Do you think Mitchell’s freedom from responsibilities makes his lifestyle enjoyable, or do you think it would eventually become boring? Why?
What can this story teach you about balance—between having the freedom to make decisions and carrying responsibility for those decisions?
How can a preteen brother recognize when Mitchell needs help with basic needs, such as getting his bottle or changing into a fresh pair of pampers?
Why is it important for a big brother to tell a grown-up if Mitchell is missing something like his bottle or isn’t wearing his pampers?
What strategies can a preteen use to gently remind Mitchell about his needs without embarrassing him?
How can a responsible big brother make sure Mitchell only watches age-appropriate cartoons instead of big boy shows?
Why might it be unsafe to allow Mitchell to play with big boy toys, and how can a big brother help prevent this?
What are some ways a preteen brother can help Mitchell feel included without giving him big boy responsibilities or privileges?
How can a big brother set a good example for Mitchell while also respecting his unique needs?
Why is it important to create clear rules about what is appropriate for Mitchell and how can a big brother enforce them calmly?
How can a big brother make sharing safe and responsible, especially when it comes to toys or activities?
What should a preteen do if Mitchell is upset because he wants to do something that isn’t safe or appropriate for him?
How can a big brother create a fun environment for Mitchell without making him feel left out of more grown-up activities?
What role does communication with adults play in being a responsible big brother to Mitchell?
How can a preteen balance playing with Mitchell and spending time on their own hobbies or interests?
What are some creative ways to redirect Mitchell’s attention if he wants to do something he’s not ready for yet?
How can a big brother help Mitchell learn basic responsibility, like tidying up toys, while still being supportive and patient?