Treehouse: You won't believe what I do when the date ends

Alright, so here I am, an 18-year-old calculus student in my first year at a four-year college, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride. I’ve got this amazing new girlfriend who’s been great, but honestly, she’s a bit overstimulating. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like her a lot, but sometimes I feel like I need a break from all the excitement.

After our fancy dates—usually at some trendy diner where I’m trying healthy stuff like quinoa bowls and avocado toast for the first time—I drop her off at her house and tell her I’m heading home to study. But here’s the thing: while she thinks I’m hitting the books, I have this little ritual that she doesn’t know about.

You see, while she’s all about the kale and the smoothies, I sneak off to the food court for a solo date of my own. I mean, who can resist a good cheeseburger or a chili cheese dog? I’ll hit up the food court and go all out, gorging on greasy goodness while she’s probably thinking I’m still being all health-conscious. I’ll grab a Slurpee, and let me tell you, I don’t hold back. I’ll burp really loud just to embrace the moment. It’s like my own little rebellion against the health food scene.

While I’m at the food court, I can’t resist the urge to text her. I quiz her on physics and chemistry equations, even though that’s not even her major. It’s a little game I play, and I find it hilarious to see her try to keep up. I mean, she’s probably thinking, “Why is he asking me about the laws of thermodynamics while I’m just trying to enjoy my salad?” But it’s all in good fun, and it keeps me entertained while I demolish my food.

Now, you might be wondering why I don’t invite her along for these solo dates. Honestly, it’s not that I don’t want her there; it’s just that I need that time to decompress. After all the stimulating conversations and trendy food choices, I crave the simplicity of a cheeseburger and a little bit of freedom. It’s my way of balancing the healthy lifestyle she promotes with my inner fast-food-loving nerd.

So, while she’s out there being all fabulous and trendy, I’m in my own little world, enjoying my guilty pleasures. It’s a ritual that keeps me grounded, and honestly, I think it makes me appreciate her even more when we’re together. Who knew that calculus, cheeseburgers, and a little bit of physics could coexist so harmoniously?

-doing my best to fend off ego depletion by prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries