Treehouse: Unmoved by Offense—A Straight, Educated Black Man's Thoughts on Shepherds Daycare

What I See Clearly

I graduated with my bachelor's degree recently, and I've been with my girlfriend—the woman I met after high school—for years now. We married recently. I support her financially and emotionally, and the foundation of everything we have is a biblical relationship. That's the order of my life: God first, my wife second, and then the work I put my hands to. Everything else falls in line behind that.

So when I hear people talk, I tend to listen carefully before I speak. And lately I've been hearing about Shepherds Daycare, and about Mitchell.

From what I understand, Mitchell is special needs and schizoaffective, and he's under the care of some pretty eccentric caretakers—both on the show and in real life. People seem to take issue with how he's handled. They say he's treated like a toddler. And I find that funny, honestly, because the criticism misses the entire point.

Mitchell's care isn't about his skin. The man is schizoaffective and special needs. The treatment he gets is the treatment his condition calls for right now. Him being Black has nothing to do with what he needs to feel safe, stable, and looked after. You don't measure a person's care by their race. You measure it by their needs. If a man needs gentleness, structure, and patience, then that's what love looks like for him—period.

But here's where I sit with it longer. People will stir themselves up over a vulnerable man being treated with tenderness, yet stay quiet about something far heavier. We don't hear the same outrage when African American men get pushed into jail—sometimes justly, plenty of times unjustly. There's an unspoken expectation that a Black man has to be tough. That he can't be soft, can't be fragile, can't need help. And so that's how he gets "cased." That's the box people put him in before they ever know his name.

I notice that contrast. Tenderness toward one man is treated like a scandal, while harshness toward another is treated like the natural order of things. That tells you something about what people are really comfortable with.

This is my opinion, and I say it plainly as a strong conservative. I believe in personal responsibility, in faith, in family, in calling things what they are. I don't bend my views to win approval, and I don't soften the truth to make a room more comfortable.

And as for the people who have something to say about my marriage—about the fact that my wife is a beautiful Christian Caucasian woman—I could not care less. Our covenant was made before God, not before the court of public opinion. We answer to Him, and we answer to each other. That's enough for me.

I see clearly.
I speak honestly.
And I sleep just fine.