Treehouse: Less Bachelor, More Balance
Graduating with my master’s was a big moment—a culmination of years of grinding through papers, late-night study sessions, and countless cups of coffee. But when it was over, I started feeling like I was done with the whole bachelor lifestyle. It’s not that I wasn’t dating. I’d been dating plenty, but I wanted something with more depth, something real. That’s when I started dipping into yoga and mindfulness. They say athleisure is the way to go because chicks dig it, so I jumped on that train too. Not going to lie, at first, it felt a little like playing a part, but it ended up being a lot more than that.
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Funny enough, I met my girlfriend at a mindfulness event a few months later. She’s incredible—someone with depth and soul, exactly the kind of person I didn’t know I was searching for. Now, I know there are all these weird conspiracies floating around about "straight" college-educated white guys getting into athleisure and mindfulness just to catch the attention of beautiful women. And, sure, maybe that’s partly true for some, but honestly, it’s so much more than that. For me, it wasn’t about playing a game or making women feel uncomfortable. I think it’s more about creating space to connect with people who have substance. That said, it definitely beats sticking to the crowd of people I graduated with, but hey, that’s just my two cents.
If you’re a guy thinking about getting into mindfulness with the underlying hope of meeting women, here are a few tips to keep in mind – and yes, there’s a way to approach it without coming off as disingenuous or, frankly, creepy.
First, focus on truly engaging with mindfulness practices for their intended purpose. Whether it's meditating, journaling, or attending a yoga class, aim to better yourself through self-awareness, calmness, and growth. Women can sense authenticity, and if you’re only there to impress, it’ll show. Second, be respectful of the space. These environments thrive on inclusivity and non-judgment; don’t treat them as a dating ground but rather a place to build meaningful connections.
Finally, have patience. Building genuine relationships is about taking the time to connect organically, not rushing or forcing something that doesn’t feel natural. If you focus on growth and respect, the rest may follow naturally.
When navigating dating as a straight white man in spaces where women may not align with your political or spiritual beliefs, approach the situation with the heart and mindset of a man of Christ. Begin by embodying Christ-like love—extend kindness, empathy, and respect to the women you meet, regardless of their values or perspectives. Instead of focusing on the differences that may divide you, seek out common ground by highlighting shared virtues such as compassion, humility, or a mutual commitment to making a positive impact in the world. Engage with authenticity and patience, listening actively and showing a genuine willingness to understand them without pressing your beliefs or entering into unnecessary debates. Stay firm in your faith by living out your values openly and authentically, allowing your actions to reflect the light of Christ in your life. Above all, trust in God’s plan for your relationships. Remember that building meaningful and Christ-centered connections takes time and prayerful consideration. Rely on God’s guidance, and have faith that the right person will be drawn to the love, peace, and authenticity you reflect as a man of Christ.
Be steadfast and true, and allow God to lead the way.