Nathan's Super Awesome Subway Adventure

Dear Diary,

Today was THE BEST DAY EVER! Mr. Charlie took me and my friends Trent and Brody to Subway for lunch! Dad says I'm a big boy now because I got to leave daycare for a special trip.

We had to wear these yellow vests that made us look like tiny construction workers. Mr. Charlie said they were so he wouldn't lose us, but I think it's because yellow is his favorite color. Trent kept saying his vest was "itchy-scratchy" the whole time. I told him to stop being a baby about it, but then my vest got itchy too, so I couldn't really say anything else.

Before we left, Mr. Jason made us all go potty even though I TOTALLY didn't have to go. Grown-ups always make you go potty before you do anything fun. It's like a rule or something. Brody took FOREVER in the bathroom. He always does. Mr. Charlie had to knock on the door and ask if he fell in! That made me and Trent laugh so hard that milk came out of Trent's nose, even though we weren't even drinking milk yet!

Mr. Jason checked our backpacks to make sure we had our water bottles. I have the cool dinosaur one that roars when you push the button. Trent has a Spider-Man one, and Brody has a plain blue one because his dad says character backpacks are a waste of money. That's sad.

We walked to Subway holding onto this long rope that Mr. Charlie called a "walking rope." Brody tried to swing on it like a monkey, but Mr. Charlie said, "One, two, three, eyes on me!" That's what he says when we're being too wild. I was being super good though. Trent kept stepping on the backs of my shoes which is SUPER annoying, but I didn't even push him because I'm practicing being patient, which is what Dad tells me to do when my little brother touches my Legos.

On the way there, we saw a dog that was almost as big as me! Mr. Charlie said it was a Great Dane. I think that's a silly name because the dog wasn't from Denmark. I know about Denmark because my grandpa went there once and brought me back a Viking helmet. The dog's owner let us pet him, and his name was Meatball! That's the best dog name I ever heard.

When we finally got to Subway, I saw a guy behind the counter with GLOVES! I asked him if he was a doctor and he laughed. Mr. Charlie said he wears gloves to keep the food clean. That makes sense because one time I dropped my cookie on the playground and it got covered in sand, and sand doesn't taste good AT ALL.

The Subway store smelled like bread and pickles. Trent said it smelled like his grandpa's house, but I don't think that's a very nice thing to say about his grandpa. The sandwich guy had a funny hat shaped like a triangle. I asked if he was a wizard, and Mr. Charlie did that thing where he laughs but tries to make it sound like a cough.

Mr. Charlie let us each pick our own sandwich! I got bread with cheese and JUST cheese because I don't like green stuff on my sandwich. Trent got everything on his sandwich which is GROSS. He even got OLIVES, which are just grapes that went bad. Brody wanted peanut butter and jelly, but the Subway guy said they don't have that. Brody almost cried but then Mr. Charlie convinced him to try turkey, and he said it was "actually not poison" which means he liked it.

The sandwich guy asked if I wanted my bread toasted, and I said yes because I thought he was going to make a toast, like "Here's to Nathan and his awesome sandwich!" But he just put it in a hot oven thing instead. Grown-ups are confusing sometimes.

When they were making my sandwich, I saw all these different sauces in bottles. I asked for the red one because red is my favorite color. Mr. Charlie told me it was called "chipotle southwest" and might be spicy, but I said I'm brave. I was NOT brave enough for that sauce! My tongue felt like it was on FIRE! Mr. Charlie had to get me two chocolate milks to make it better.

The best part was when Mr. Charlie let us each get a cookie! I picked chocolate chip because it's the best kind of cookie in the universe. Trent got the white one with rainbow chips, and Brody got the same as me because he copies everything I do. Trent said his cookie had magical powers, but when he took a bite, nothing happened except getting crumbs all over his yellow vest.

We got to sit at a big-boy table without any booster seats! My feet didn't touch the floor, so I swung them the whole time, and I accidentally kicked Trent, but it was an accident so it doesn't count as being mean.

When we were eating, Trent's milk box exploded ALL OVER his shirt when he squeezed it too hard. Mr. Charlie wasn't even mad! He just used like a hundred napkins to clean it up. Then Brody tried to make his milk explode too, but Mr. Charlie gave him the serious eyebrows. I call them that because when Mr. Charlie is serious, his eyebrows get all scrunchy like caterpillars.

Mr. Charlie told us that when he was little, his favorite sandwich was peanut butter and banana, which sounds DISGUSTING. I told him that, and he pretended to be shocked and clutched his heart like I stabbed him. Trent and Brody thought that was so funny they both started clutching their hearts too, and then everyone in Subway was looking at us.

I saw a guy in a suit eating his sandwich with a fork and knife. A FORK AND KNIFE! For a SANDWICH! I pointed at him and asked "WHY?" really loud, and Mr. Charlie had to remind me about inside voices. The fork-and-knife man looked grumpy after that. Sorry, fork-and-knife man.

On the way back to daycare, I told Mr. Charlie that when I grow up, I'm going to work at Subway so I can eat cookies every day. He said that was a "solid career choice." I don't know what that means, but I think it means he agrees that my plan is genius. Trent said he's going to be a firefighter, but last week he said he was going to be a dinosaur, so I don't think he's figured it out yet.

Brody was so tired from all the excitement that he asked Mr. Charlie to carry him. Mr. Charlie said, "Nice try, buddy," and Brody had to walk like the rest of us. But Mr. Charlie did let Brody wear his sunglasses, which made Brody walk into a trash can because they were too big for his face.

When we got back, all the other kids were super jealous of our field trip. Jimmy said he wished he could have gone too, but I told him maybe he could go next time if he stops eating Play-Doh. Mr. Jason asked us what we learned on our trip, and Trent said, "Don't squeeze milk boxes," which made all the teachers laugh.

During nap time, I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about our adventure. Trent fell asleep right away and started snoring like a lawn mower. Brody tried to tell me that he saw a real live ninja at Subway, but I know he's making that up because ninjas are invisible, duh.

Dad says I have to go to bed now, but I'm too excited to sleep! My tummy is full of cheese sandwich and chocolate chip cookie, and tomorrow I'm going to tell my other dad ALL about my adventure!

This was the BEST. DAY. EVER!

Nathan (age 5 and three-quarters)

P.S. - I saved half my cookie in my pocket for later, but it got all melty and now my shorts have chocolate on them. Don't tell Dad!

P.P.S. - Mr. Charlie let me keep my yellow vest! I'm going to wear it to bed so I can have Subway dreams!