Math Test: Mitchell's Plastic Donkey Poop-capades: Extended Edition Math Problems for Dimwits
Instructions: Alright, math enthusiasts! Prepare yourselves for some extra-long, extra-stinky problems featuring Mitchell, the not-so-bright toddler who just can't seem to keep his pampers clean while riding his beloved plastic donkey. Put on your thinking caps (and maybe some nose plugs) as we dive into these malodorous mathematical mysteries!
1. Mitchell, in his infinite wisdom, decides to ride his plastic donkey right after breakfast. As he bounces along, he feels a rumble in his tummy. Suddenly, without warning, he poops his pampers with such force that it startles his plastic steed. This happens 3 times before lunch and 4 times after. If each poop takes Mitchell 5 minutes to "complete," how much total time did this little genius spend soiling himself during his donkey rides?
2. Our intrepid toddler discovers that his plastic donkey moves forward 2 feet every time he poops his pampers. It's as if the donkey is trying to escape the stench! If Mitchell poops 6 times during a single ride, leaving a trail of stink behind him, how far did his long-suffering donkey travel in total? Bonus question: If Mitchell's room is 20 feet long, how many poops would it take for him to ride from one end to the other?
3. Mitchell's plastic donkey has a special "poop sensor" that plays a different farm animal sound for each of Mitchell's pamper-soiling incidents. It moos for the first poop, oinks for the second, and clucks for the third, then repeats the pattern. If Mitchell poops his pampers 10 times during a particularly long ride, how many times did the donkey moo, oink, and cluck respectively?
4. In a stroke of what he thinks is genius, Mitchell decides to time his poop schedule. He poops his pampers every 15 minutes while bouncing on his plastic donkey, like clockwork. If he starts his ride at 9:00 AM and finally gets changed at 11:30 AM, how many times did this little Einstein soil himself? And how many minutes did he spend sitting in his own mess before being changed?
5. Mitchell's long-suffering mother buys a jumbo pack of 48 pampers, hoping it'll last more than a day. Little does she know, her darling boy poops through 3 pampers per hour while on his plastic donkey adventures. If Mitchell rides his donkey for 4 hours each day, how many days will the jumbo pack last? Round your answer to the nearest half-day, because let's face it, Mitchell's mom needs all the help she can get.
6. Our poop-prone protagonist has a particularly productive Tuesday. He poops his pampers twice as much as he did on Monday, plus an extra 3 times for good measure. If he pooped 5 times on Monday during his plastic donkey rodeo, how many times did he soil himself on Tuesday? And if each poop weighs approximately 2 ounces, how many pounds of poop did Mitchell produce on Tuesday? (Hint: There are 16 ounces in a pound.)
7. Mitchell's plastic donkey, bless its heart, has a built-in odometer that tracks the number of poops per ride. On Monday, it recorded 7 poops. On Tuesday, it logged 2 more than Monday. On Wednesday, it registered 3 fewer than Tuesday. If this pattern continues, how many poops will the donkey's odometer show on Friday? And what's the total number of poops recorded from Monday to Friday?
8. In a misguided attempt to potty train Mitchell, his parents decide to reward him for every 30 minutes he doesn't poop while riding his plastic donkey. They give him one gold star for each poop-free half-hour. If Mitchell manages to hold it for the first 20 minutes, then poops every 15 minutes for the next 2 hours, how many gold stars does he earn? And how many times does he poop during this 2-hour, 20-minute adventure?
9. Mitchell's plastic donkey runs on special "poop-powered" batteries. Each battery lasts for 5 of Mitchell's poops before needing to be changed. If Mitchell goes on an epic 8-hour donkey-riding marathon, pooping every 30 minutes, how many batteries will his parents need to change? And if each battery costs $2, how much money do Mitchell's parents spend powering this poopy ride?
10. In a surprising turn of events, Mitchell decides to keep track of his own poop schedule. He poops 5 times before lunch and then takes a nap. After his nap, he poops 1/3 of the number of times he did before lunch, plus 2 more for good measure. If each poop lasts an average of 3 minutes, and Mitchell spends an additional 2 minutes each time realizing what he's done, how many total minutes did Mitchell spend dealing with his poopy situations during this day of plastic donkey riding?