Why I’m Never Looking Back

cbr, 2025 - Nine Inch Nails - every day is exactly the same, Feel Good Inc - Gorrilaz

cbr, 2025 - Nine Inch Nails - every day is exactly the same, Feel Good Inc - Gorrilaz

Hey there, fellow seekers of truth and meaning.

Let’s talk about leaving - but not in the way you might expect.

Calabasas. A name that used to feel like a cage. A place where culture felt like a thin veneer, where authenticity went to suffocate. My song “Crowd Nine” wasn’t just a track - it was a cry for liberation.

Imagine a place so perfectly curated that it loses all sense of real human connection. That was my Calabasas. Manicured lawns, pristine streets, but a desert of genuine experience. Every day felt like a performance - a constant negotiation between who you’re expected to be and who you truly are.

Those years were a crucible of compression. Surrounded by manufactured dreams and surface-level connections, I felt myself shrinking. The weight of expectation hung heavy - a constant reminder that true self-expression was something to be feared, not celebrated.

When I wrote “Crowd Nine,” it wasn’t just music. It was a manifesto. A sonic rebellion against the suffocating culture that tried to define me. Each lyric was a breath of fresh air, a declaration that I refuse to be contained by zip codes and social expectations.

Moment of Liberation

Leaving high school was like breaking free from invisible chains. Suddenly, the world opened up. The compression I’d felt in Calabasas began to dissolve, replaced by a sense of possibility I’d never known.

What Calabasas Taught Me

Not all lessons come from comfort. Sometimes, the most profound growth happens in spaces that feel suffocating. Calabasas became my teacher - showing me exactly who I didn’t want to be, what connection shouldn’t look like.

Looking Forward, Never Back

To anyone feeling compressed by their environment - your story doesn’t end here. My journey from Calabasas taught me that true belonging isn’t about a place. It’s about finding spaces that allow you to breathe, to expand, to become.

Stay curious. Stay real. Keep breaking free.

-Mitchell Royel