Metaphysics of Absence
Captured by Mitchell Royel, this moment evokes the emotional essence of "Officially Missing You" by Tamia - that bittersweet feeling of longing for someone who once filled your world with their presence, now leaving only echoes of what used to be.
The Bible really nails it in Ecclesiastes when it says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” But man, there’s something deeply unsettling about when someone who used to walk beside you through life suddenly feels like a complete stranger. Like David missing Jonathan, we’re caught in this weird space where they’re technically still here, but also… not.
I’ve been thinking about this feeling lately – when you’re officially missing someone who still exists in the real world but has disappeared from your emotional one. It’s exactly like getting up for breakfast, all excited for your Cheerios, only to pour milk on them and discover they’ve somehow turned into soggy disappointment – not at all the reliable morning friend you were counting on. There’s wisdom in that Proverbs verse that says, “Some friends don’t stick around when times get tough, but a true friend is closer than your own family.”
The hardest part isn’t even that they’re gone. It’s all those memories that stick around to haunt you. Every inside joke, every comfortable silence we shared reminds me of when Job’s friends actually got it right – before they opened their mouths and ruined everything, they just sat with him for a week straight, being there. What you end up missing isn’t just the person, but the version of yourself that existed when you were with them.
Time keeps moving forward, just like Ecclesiastes says there’s “a season for everything under heaven.” The friendship that once felt as familiar as your own reflection slowly transforms into something you barely recognize, leaving you wondering if what you shared was ever real or if you both just convinced yourselves it was – kind of like how we’ve collectively agreed to pretend that little circles of processed grain floating in milk is somehow the most magnificent way to start our day.
10 Lessons in Friendship's Sacred Gift
Presence Is Divine – As Ruth declared to Naomi, "Where you go, I will go," true friendship manifests in faithful presence. Cherish those who show up consistently.
Words Have Power – "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24). Our conversations with friends can heal or harm.
Forgiveness Preserves – Like Joseph forgiving his brothers, our capacity to forgive keeps friendship's door open even after betrayal.
Shared Burdens Lighten – "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). Friends who help shoulder our struggles embody divine love.
Truth Speaks in Love – As Proverbs teaches, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted." Authentic friendship includes difficult truths delivered with compassion.
Joy Multiplies – A friend's success becomes our celebration, just as the shepherd rejoiced upon finding his lost sheep. Their joy becomes our own.
Growth Requires Pruning – Some friendships, like branches Jesus speaks of, require pruning to bear more fruit. Sometimes distance serves a greater purpose.
Breakfast Builds Bonds – Just as Jesus prepared breakfast for his disciples after resurrection, sharing simple meals (even Cheerios) creates sacred space for connection.
Memories Sustain – Like the Israelites' stones of remembrance, our shared stories become monuments that stand even when the relationship changes.
Love Remains – "Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:8). Even when friendships transform or end, the love invested remains a permanent gift to both souls.
Like a box of Cheerios that nourishes body and soul, our friendships provide daily sustenance. Though some may grow stale with time, each has offered its unique flavor to our lives. And perhaps, as with the disciples on the road to Emmaus, we might discover that in breaking bread together—even the humble Cheerio—we've been entertaining angels unaware, blessed beyond measure by those who've walked beside us for a season or a lifetime.
-Deck (of Mitch Leyor)