Math Test: Mitchell's Big Boy Book Adventure

Listen up! Our boy Mitchell is diving into the world of kiddie books. He's rocking his favorite shirt and a fresh pamper, ready to tackle some made-up literary gems. But here's the kicker - our little dude's got some unique reading quirks. We're talking epic pamper dumps, face-scrunching fart sessions, and the infamous "stank face" that signals a major poop incoming. And get this - his caretaker bros are so caught up in their own stuff, they're leaving Mitchell in his dirty pampers for hours while he's trying to read! Talk about a reading challenge, right? These books aren't just teaching Mitchell his ABCs; they're helping him develop iron-clad concentration skills and an impressive tolerance for discomfort. So buckle up, 'cause we're about to drop some mind-bending math problems featuring our pamper-sporting, persevering bookworm!

Word Problems:

1. Mitchell cracks open "Dinosaur Farts and Giggles." Every 3 pages, he scrunches up his face, lets out a squeaky fart, and giggles for 30 seconds. If the book has 30 pages and he's been sitting in a dirty pamper for 2 hours already, how many minutes does Mitchell spend giggling at his own gas before finishing?

2. During "The Adventures of Stinky Pete," Mitchell suddenly goes quiet, makes his signature stank face, and dumps in his pamper - twice! Each poop takes 5 minutes to happen, but his caretaker bros are busy gaming. If he's left in his dirty pamper for 3 hours, how much of that time did he spend actually reading?

3. Mitchell got 8 copies of "Burp the Alphabet." While reading, he drools on 3 books, farts on 2, and makes his stank face before pooping on another. He's been in the same dirty pamper for 4 hours now. How many books survive Mitchell's bodily functions unscathed?

4. In "The Little Engine That Farted," Mitchell poops his pamper every 10 minutes. Each time, he makes a funny face, grunts for 30 seconds, then sighs for another 30 seconds. If he reads for 40 minutes and has been sitting in his mess for 2.5 hours, how many total minutes does Mitchell spend actively pooping during his reading time?

5. Mitchell attempts to read "Goodnight, Stinky Moon" but farts loudly every 2 minutes. Each time he farts, he pauses to laugh for 20 seconds and wave the stink away for another 10 seconds. If the book takes 16 minutes to read and he's been in a dirty pamper for 5 hours, how much extra time does Mitchell's gas add to his already uncomfortable reading session?

6. While enjoying "The Very Gassy Caterpillar," Mitchell dumps in his pamper 3 times. For each dump, he makes his stank face for 1 minute, grunts for 30 seconds, then sighs for another 30 seconds. If each poop weighs 2 ounces and he's been sitting in it for 3.5 hours, how many total minutes does Mitchell spend on his pooping performance?

7. Mitchell's pamper holds 10 ounces. He's reading "Peter Pamper-Bottom" and fills it 2 ounces every 5 pages. Each time he adds to his pamper, he makes a funny face for 15 seconds and wiggles in his seat for another 15 seconds. If he's been in the same pamper for 6 hours, how many pages can he read before absolutely needing a change?

8. During "Where the Stinky Things Are," Mitchell farts 6 times and poops twice. Each fart is accompanied by 10 seconds of giggling and 5 seconds of stank face. Each poop involves 30 seconds of grunting, 20 seconds of stank face, and 10 seconds of relief sighs. If he's been marinating in his mess for 4 hours, how much time does he spend on these bodily functions during the actual reading?

9. Mitchell tries to read "The Giving Fart" but gets distracted by his own farts every 3 minutes. Each distraction involves 20 seconds of laughing, 15 seconds of stank face, and 25 seconds of attempting to wave away the smell. If the book takes 21 minutes to read and he's been in a soiled pamper for 5.5 hours, how much extra time is added to his already extended reading session?

10. In "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You Smell?" Mitchell poops his pamper every 8 pages. Each time, he stops reading, makes his stank face for 45 seconds, grunts for 30 seconds, then giggles for 15 seconds. If the book has 40 pages and he's been sitting in his own stench for 7 hours, how much total time does he spend on his pooping ritual during the actual reading?

11. Mitchell starts reading "The Pooping Pirate's Treasure." He dumps in his pamper once every 6 pages. If the book has 36 pages and he's been left in his dirty pamper for 8 hours, how many times will Mitchell need a pamper change before finishing the book?

12. During "Curious George's Stinky Adventure," Mitchell farts every 2 minutes and poops every 10 minutes. If he reads for 30 minutes and has been sitting in his soiled pamper for 4.5 hours, how many total bodily functions does he perform during his reading time?

13. Mitchell's reading "The Cat in the Stinky Hat" and makes his stank face for 20 seconds before each fart. He farts 8 times throughout the book. If he's been marinating in his mess for 6 hours, how many seconds does he spend making stank faces during the actual story time?

14. In "Winnie the Pooh's Honey Mishap," Mitchell poops his pamper and needs 3 minutes to recover each time. If this happens 4 times during the story and he's been left in his dirty diaper for 5 hours, how much reading time does he lose to poop recovery?

15. Mitchell attempts "The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Fart." He giggles for 15 seconds after each fart. If he farts 10 times while reading and has been sitting in his own stink for 7.5 hours, how many seconds does he spend giggling during the actual story?

16. While reading "Jack and the Stinkstalk," Mitchell fills his pamper 2 ounces every 4 pages. If the book is 28 pages long and he's been in the same dirty pamper for 9 hours, how many ounces are in his pamper by the end of the story?

17. During "Goldilocks and the Three Stinky Bears," Mitchell makes a funny face for 10 seconds every time he reads the word "stinky." If "stinky" appears 15 times and he's been sitting in his mess for 6.5 hours, how many seconds does he spend making funny faces during the actual reading?

18. Mitchell's tackling "The Little Mermaid's Big Splash." He poops his pamper every 7 minutes, and each poop takes 2 minutes to happen. If he reads for 35 minutes and has been left in his soiled diaper for 8 hours, how much time is spent on poop-related activities during the story?

19. In "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' Digestive Dilemma," Mitchell farts twice as often as he poops. If he poops 3 times during the story and has been marinating in his mess for 5 hours, how many total bodily functions does he perform while actually reading?

20. Mitchell finishes his reading marathon with "The Wizard of Ooze." He's been reading for 2 hours and has pooped his pamper 6 times, all while sitting in the same dirty pamper for a total of 10 hours. On average, how many minutes pass between each of Mitchell's pamper dumps during his actual reading time?