Great Bowling Ball Blowout - Sticky Situation

So there I was, Mitchell the Magnificent, ready to conquer the bowling alley like the big boy I am! My caretakers, Dave and Steve, said we were gonna have the best day ever at Sunset Lanes. They were all excited, talking about strikes and spares and stuff I don't really get, but I was just happy to be wearing my favorite dinosaur shirt.

The bowling shoes felt funny on my feet - all slippery and weird. But you know what felt even weirder? My pampers were getting all squishy and gross. I kept doing that little waddle-dance thing, trying to make it feel better, but Dave and Steve were too busy arguing about which lane was lucky.

"Uh oh," I said, tugging on Steve's shirt. "Bathroom time!"

That's when things got really interesting. Steve marched over to the bathroom door, jiggled the handle, and came back looking like someone stole his favorite toy.

"Out of order," he announced to Dave, pointing at a sign that might as well have said "Mitchell's Day Is About To Get Complicated."

My shorts were getting all bunchy and irritating against my soggy pampers. I started doing my "uncomfortable dance" - you know, the one where you wiggle and squirm and make faces like you're trying to solve a really hard puzzle with your bottom.

"We gotta take his shorts off," Dave whispered to Steve, like it was some kind of secret mission. "They're bothering him."

So there I was, standing in my dinosaur shirt and puffy pampers, feeling much better without those annoying shorts. The other bowlers were giving us some interesting looks, but hey - comfort is comfort!

I picked up my special lightweight bowling ball (the pink one with sparkles - don't judge), got into position like Dave taught me, and that's when my tummy started making those rumbling volcano sounds.

You know that feeling when your belly goes "grumble-grumble-GROWL" and you know something big is about to happen? Yeah, that was happening. I pushed my butt back a little, trying to get comfortable for my big bowling moment, and then...

PFFFRRRRRR-PLOP

Houston, we have a problem.

Dave and Steve's faces went through about seventeen different expressions in two seconds flat. First confusion, then realization, then that special look adults get when they're trying really hard not to laugh but also kind of want to disappear into the floor.

My pampers went from regular-puffy to extra-super-mega-puffy, sagging down like a sad, brown balloon. The smell hit the air like a stink bomb at a perfume convention.

"Well," Steve said, looking at Dave with the kind of desperation usually reserved for people trapped in elevators, "the bathroom's still out of order."

"And we already paid for the full game," Dave added, staring at my now-very-full pampers like it was a puzzle he couldn't solve.

I just stood there, bowling ball in hand, ready to roll my strike while wearing what felt like a warm, squishy pillowaround my bottom. The other bowlers were definitely noticing now - some covering their noses, others trying really hard to pretend they were suddenly fascinated by the ceiling tiles.

"Mitchell," Dave said slowly, "maybe we should just... finish the game?"

And that's how I became the first kid in Sunset Lanes history to bowl a perfect game while wearing a diaper that looked like it had been through a chocolate factory explosion.

Strike!

The End

Sometimes the best adventures happen when everything goes wrong. And sometimes, when the bathroom's out of order and you've already paid for bowling, you just gotta roll with it - literally.