Aftermath of My Legendary Preschool Performance Review

Dear Diary of Toddler Triumphs,

Today was EPIC. I had my big progress report meeting with my preschool teacher, and let me tell you, I DOMINATED that conversation in my own special way.

There I was, sitting in my tiny chair, looking all innocent and cute. He's talking about my "progress" - which is basically grown-up talk for how awesome I am at being a two-year-old rebel. And right in the middle of his serious grown-up speech, I made my move.

I lifted my pamper, gave a mighty toddler grunt, and RELEASED THE KRAKEN. One magnificent fart, followed by a pamper load that would make professional mess-makers proud. The look on his face? PRICELESS.

Apparently, my "grades" are all "needs improvement." WHATEVER. In toddler language, that just means I'm too advanced for their boring little checklists. He said I'm going to time-out, but we all know time-out is just a free vacation from structured learning.

My performance review strategy? COMPLETE SUCCESS. I showed him who's boss of this preschool kingdom. They might think they're teaching me, but I'm teaching THEM about the art of unpredictability.

Mission accomplished.

Signed,

-Mitchell

The Diaper Dynamo of Destruction