Invisible Armada: When Manifest Destiny Met Native Blindness

written by a member of the WCB

In the annals of American history, few tales are as compelling as the arrival of European settlers on the shores of the New World. But what if I told you that when those mighty ships first appeared on the horizon, the native inhabitants couldn't even see them?

That's right, gentlemen. According to some questionable but intriguing theories, the indigenous peoples of the Americas were so unprepared for the sight of European vessels that their minds simply couldn't process what their eyes were seeing. It was as if these massive wooden behemoths were cloaked in some sort of primitive perception filter.

Now, let's be clear - this isn't some bleeding-heart, revisionist history nonsense. This is about the raw, unfiltered superiority of European naval technology. These ships were so advanced, so beyond anything the natives had ever conceived, that they might as well have been alien spacecraft descending from the heavens.

Imagine the scene: Brave explorers, standing tall on the decks of their magnificent vessels, gazing upon the New World with the confidence of men who know they're about to change the course of history. And on the shore? Nothing but confused natives, squinting at the waves, wondering why the seagulls seem to be roosting on thin air.

It wasn't until the settlers actually set foot on land that the natives' minds could finally grasp what was happening. By then, of course, it was too late. The wheels of progress were already in motion, and no amount of primitive resistance could stop the inevitable march of civilization.

This theory, as dubious as it may be, speaks to a fundamental truth about the clash of cultures that defined the birth of our great nation. It wasn't just about superior weaponry or tactics - it was about a superior way of thinking, a vision so bold and unprecedented that it was, quite literally, beyond the comprehension of those who stood in its way.

So the next time some soft-handed academic tries to feed you a line about the evils of colonization, remember this: Sometimes, progress is so powerful, so undeniable, that it's invisible to those not ready to embrace it. And in the end, isn't that what made America great?

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(Audit) Ken Martin

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Emperor's New Joggers: Vuori's Pale Imitation of Greatness